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RR's
Report
Zeus and Europa
Brought to you by the Recksocciated Press
Thebes,
Greece, 1147BC --- Only 3 years after the foundation
of the city, Thebes is now a flourishing urban centre containing
over 1000 people, despite the founder only having 5000 drachmae
to play with, and the fact that there is a Hydra menacing the area
containing the marble quarries. The city was founded on the fortune
made by the sale of fleece, and it is also thought that there was
some creative accounting, with money being requested from Greek
allies and deposited quietly into the treasury under the guise of
it being cash taken in taxation. Finance Minister Priam was unavailable
for comment on this matter.
To prove that this is the stuff of epics, the fledgling
city even survived a tremendous assault in only its second year
from its more powerful and older neighbour, Mount Cithaeron. The
citizen army of Thebes, despite the fact that it was only raised
months before the assault, managed to fight off the hoplites and
horsemen, losing about three-quarters of its own number in the battle.
Mayor Rodentos ordered that a monument should be erected to those
brave farmers who gave their lives so their sons and daughters may
live in peace.
Thebes2,
Greece, 1144BC --- 4 years on, the city of Thebes continues
to grow. The Hydra who had been terrorising the area for nearly
half a decade has now been slain by the hand of Hercules. When asked
what prompted him to come to the city's aid, Hercules replied that
he had been impressed by the:
- Excellent culture access
- Victory in a pan-Hellenic game
- Excellent city-wide gymnasium access
- 1500 brave souls within the city
- 32 amphorae of wine
When asked how Thebes had been able to provide Hercules with
the wine he needed, the city's Produce Minister Demosthenes responded
that Calydon had been kind enough to gift it; even if it did take
a couple of years to get the requisite 32 amphorae. Upon arrival,
Hercules proceeded straight to the Hydra; onlookers were said
to be impressed by the raft which he whipped out when he came
to a stretch of water, thereby eschewing the bridges which had
been unnecessarily built the previous year.
After the Hydra had been slain by the hand of Hercules, Thebes
was finally able to exploit its extensive (inexhaustible, in fact)
resources of marble. Trade was established with Calydon and soon,
115 pieces or marble was coming off the production line every
year.
Thebes3, Greece, 1140BC
--- A Sanctuary to Area, God of war, now stands proudly over the
town centre, dwarfing the area of elite housing which has sprung
up over the past 5 years. A probe is expected, however, into the
cost of building the temple, which was allegedly much higher than
it needed to be. According to a well-place source in the Palace,
wood and bronze was imported at great cost to the city, yet it
was offered only a couple of months later as a free gift by the
ever-helpful Calydon. Trade Minister Pericles rejected calls for
his resignation, but calls seem to be growing all the time. It
is doubtful whether even Pericles's dutiful setting-aside of 30
sheaves of wheat and 25 amphorae of olive oil, which is due to
be taken on an expedition leaving tomorrow bound for Crete , will
save him. It is equally unlikely that his assertions that he was
able to satisfy requests from allies Mount Pelion and Calydon
for food and fleece respectively will satisfy the populace.
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