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RR's
Report
Athens Through the Ages
Brought to you by the Recksocciated Press
Athens1,
Greece, 798BC
--- It is truly amazing what can be accomplished in 3 years with
15000 drachmas. In January 800BC, a group of brave settlers, led
by soon-to-be Mayor Rodentos, established a settlement on this virgin
land, defying an order not to do so from the great King Minos of
Knossos. Reports were soon coming in that another village had appeared
in the same area; Thermopylae.
Yet
all was not destined to be peaceful - in August 800, Minos launched
a ferocious assault on the fledgeling community, only to see his
soldiers paid off by Rodentos and Finance Minister Richyrichgenes.
Not to be deterred, he sent his Minotaur to menace the populace
and disrupt the cheese industry which provided all of Athens's food.
However, owing to a miscommunication, the beast arrived on the right
hand side of the meadowland on which the goats were grazing, and
refused to budge, thereby leaving the city undamaged. Another assault
by Minos the following year was again bribed. War Minister Claptheminirons
commented "it was a good job we had plenty of money in the
kitty, since we don't have the ability to build a palace and raise
an army yet".
Rodentos
was soon receiving emissaries from Thermopylae and the newly-founded
settlement at Marathon, both seeking to place themselves under the
protection of Athens. Tribute from these 2 places was, however,
not sufficient to build up the goods to be set aside for a future
expedition, and the necessary fish and fleece had to be imported
from Thermopylae.
Athens2,
Greece, 794BC
--- Athens is burgeoning, and the yoke of the Minoans has been thrown
off once and for all. The Minotaur was dispatched without ceremony
by Theseus, who was interviewed soon afterwards by this reporter.
He said that any city which could provide him with a walled-in hall,
which was near the palace and yet enjoyed good desirability, along
with 32 marble and 16 wine, didn't deserve to be terrorised by such
a foul creature.
Tragedy
struck the city, in the form of an earthquake, but thankfully, no
damage was caused, as it was to the left of the large mountain,
about 15 squares away from the nearest housing area. When asked
what he thought of the middle-of-the-night 'quake, one inhabitant
was heard to say "what quake?".
Mayor
Rodentos gave thanks to the newly-discovered city of Olympia for
providing the wood, armor and olive oil gifts which made the conquest
of Knossos (achieves with 14 hoplites, 1 trireme and Theseus) possible.
Amphipolis,
Macedonia, 792BC
--- If I were Athens's Trade and Exploration Minister, I would be
extremely fearful of what might happen when Mayor Rodentos arrives
back in the city. The expedition to Amphipolis set sail without
the fish and fleece set aside 5 years before, due to a bureaucratic
mix-up. Luckily, fish was readily available in the new colony, so
we did not all starve. Housing was basic, but that's all that was
needed to establish what is, effectively, an economic outpost of
Athenian power. Finance Minister Richyrichgenes came with Mayor
Rodentos, and set to work exporting marble to make up any potential
shortfall of cash. Just as well, as bribery was needed to remove
an attacking Mount Pelion army from our territory.
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