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How can I win? The best I can do is tie Marco de Pollo!

1. Marco is the greatest cliff diver in the world. You are not, though you can fake it for a couple of dives.
2. If you aren't going to get much better, you need to find a way to make him worse.
3. After you do a perfect dive, you have to dive against him again. Notice what he does differently this time around?
4. He uses some of that baby seal oil before he dives.
5. That's your ticket. You need to do something to it to disrupt him.
6. Say, have you tried that bagel and Schmear Whiz™ from the StarBuccaneer's?
7. It's horribly nasty. The kind of thing only absolutely indiscriminate scavengers would eat.
8. Scavengers like those seagulls that keep circling around.
9. Before you start diving again, put the chewed Schmear Whiz™ in the baby seal oil. Get a perfect score on your first dive. On your second, it doesn't really matter what you do -- the birds will take care of Marco for you.

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