Want to add search to your site? Link to Sprinks - and earn money! Become an Affiliate

Got a question? Ask an Expert

I'd like Ignatius Cheese to be part of my crew. How can I get him to join?

1. Have you talked to him about joining?
2. Well, have you told him what he'd be doing?
3. No, no, tell him the real job.
4. He's interested, but is afraid to leave the SCUMM Bar.
5. You'll have to persuade him.
6. Have you asked him about insult arm wrestling yet?
7. Once you've done so, try persuading him...
8. ...by using insult arm wrestling.
9. If you're having trouble winning, the next hint will give you all the insults and the correct responses.

10. Insult	Response
    Your knuckles I will grind into a splintery paste.	I thought the bean dip had a strange taste.
    Hey, look over there!	Yeah, yeah, I know.
    Do I see quivers of agony dance on your lips?	It's laughter that's caused by your feathery grip.
    My stupefying strength will shatter your ulna into a million pieces!	I'm surprised you can count that high!
    My 98-year-old grandmother has bigger arms than you.	Yeah, but we both got better bladder control than you.
    I'm going to put your arm in a sling.	Why, are you studying to be a nurse?
    You're the ugliest creature I've seen in my life!	I'm shocked that you never have gazed at your wife.
    I've got muscles in places you've never even heard of.	It's too bad none of them are in your arms.
    Give up now, or I will crush you like a grape.	I would like it if you would stop your WINE-ing.
    Your arms are no bigger than fleas I have met.	So that's why you're scratching. I'd go set a vet.
    People consider my fists lethal weapons.	Sadly, your breath should be equally reckoned.
    My forearms have been mistaken for tree trunks.	An over-the-counter defoliant could help with that problem.
    Today, by myself, twelve people I've beaten.	From the size of your gut, I'd guess they were eaten.
    I've out-wrestled octopi with these arms!	I'm sure that spineless creatures everywhere are humbled by your might.
    Only once have I met such a coward!	He must have taught you everything you know.

    
    
    There are some bad insults and responses that you never want to make. If it's not in the list above, don't use it.

Up to questions
Skip to hint: 1 | 2 | 3 | 4 | 5 | 6 | 7 | 8 | 9 | 10

Return to the Escape from Monkey Island links
Report an error or make a suggestion.