The L-Space Web

The Hedgehog Files


From: rob@lspace.org (Robert Collier)
Newsgroups: alt.fan.pratchett
Subject: *I* The Hedgehog Files II *H*
Date: 26 Jan 1996 21:02:59 -0000

In the dim and distant past (1994) Jimmy Brokaw discovered the common hedgehog and decided to bring them to the common folk, recently a few people have joined him...

Yes, this is the AFP Hedgehog Signature Collection

Contents

  1. Early hedgehog sigs
  2. Rare Breeds
  3. If hedgehogs were computers/operating-systems
  4. Aquatic Hedgehogs
  5. The Emmet Files
  6. Problems of hedgehog ownership
  7. Showbiz hedgehogs
  8. Other hedgehogs

1. Early hedgehog sigs

The original hedgehog signature

--
     \\\\\       -------->jimmy@juggler.demon.co.uk<-----------
    \\\\\\\__o  Bringing hedgehogs to the common folk since 1994.
____\\\\\\\'/___________________________________________________
                        <holyhorns>

Then there were two when Daniel became the first apostle

-- 
     \\\\\     Daniel Smart.[+44 (171) 538 8421][dan@F1.telekurs.ch]
    \\\\\\\__o dan@hegemon.demon.co.uk  "echo f 0:0 FFFF 0 | debug"
____\\\\\\\'/__"If you've got a problem - stuff a worm in it" - Berk.
Worship Jimmy Brokaw. Join us & bring Hedgehogs to the Common Folk.

Others rushed to follow, but just could not get the details right...

--
     \\\\\      E-mail David@zeras.demon.co.uk
    \\\\\\\__.  The trouble with doing something right the first time is
____\\\\\\\'/___is that nobody appreciates how difficult it was.

And some are just plain disgusting

--
     \\\\\    ----->bastian@enterprise.mathematik.uni-essen.de<--------
    \\\\\\\__o   Bringing buggery to the common hedgehog since 1994.
____.\\\\\\░o__________________________________________________________
                <http://enterprise.mathematik.uni-essen.de/~bastian/>

Lies! Lies! You known the ejog can't be buggered.

Here is the proof:


   \\\\\           /////
  \\\\\\\__o   .__///////
__\\\\\\\'/_____\'///////___

   \\\\\         \\\\\
  \\\\\\\__o    \\\\\\\__.
__\\\\\\\'/_____\\\\\\\'/___

    \\\\\     \\\\\
   \\\\\\\__o\\\\\\\__.
___\\\\\\\'/_\\\\\\\'/______

       \\\__o *OUCH!*
     \\\\\+/\\\\\
    \\\\\\\\\\\\\\__.
____\\\\\\_\\\\\\\'/________

I say I say I say, 5 hedghogs crossed the road...

  \\\\\       \\\\\       \\\\\       \\\\\       \\\\\
 \\\\\\\__o  \\\\\\\__o  \\\\\\\__o  \\\\\\\__o  \\\\\\\__o
_\\\\\\\'/___\\\\\\\'/___\\\\\\\'/___\\\\\\\'/___\\\\\\\'/_
Introducing traffic jams to the common hedgehog since 1995.

...and two got squashed

This hedgehog is a bit sick really, but Once I've got an idea in my head 
I have to go along with it (there's only room for one at a time, you see).

                            
                   
          //!    !//    
         ///!    !///__o        An Ex-Hedgehog
        /////\___////'/

        The phrase 'Mind that bus, what bus, splat' comes to mind.      

-- 
                  -------->alan@doughnut.demon.co.uk<-----------------
              Bringing squashed hedgehogs to British roads since 1994.
____\\\\=====/////____________________________________________________

Luckily they reproduce quickly

David Zeraschi <David@zeras.demon.co.uk>
-- 
                               \\\\\       \\\\\
  \\\\__.  \\\\__.  \\\\__.  \\\\\\\__.  \\\\\\\__o
___\\\\'/___\\\\'/___\\\\'/___\\\\\\\'/___\\\\\\\'/___
Introducing families to the common hedgehog since 1995

And when children grow up they avenge the deaths of their parents...

--
 -- --  \\\\\         ----------->simes@amdev.demon.co.uk<-----------
  -- - \\\\\\\__o   Bringing vengeance to the common hedgehog since 1995.
 - --  \\\\\\\/    /| \_ "Drive faster! DRIVE FASTER!"
________@____@_____o---o_______________________________________________


Alan
--
                                                 O           Avenging
                                                  h         hedgehogs
   - - - \\ \\ \\ \\ \\                                 with oversize
          \\ \\ \\ \\ \\                            B     .sigs since
      -  - \\ \\ \\ \\ \\                            u            96
            \\ \\ \\ \\ \\                            g
 -  -  \\ \\ \\ \\ \\ \\ \\                            g
        \\ \\ \\ \\ \\ \\ \\                            e
    -    \\ \\ \\ \\ \\ \\ \\                            r
          \\ \\ \\ \\ \\ \\ \\ ______ o                   !
 -   \\ \\ \\ \\ \\ \\ \\ \\ \\ O    /                     ,-------,
      \\ \\ \\ \\ \\ \\ \\ \\ \\    /                      ж       ж_
   -   \\ \\ \\ \\ \\ \\ \\ \\ \\  /                       ж_______ж_\
________\\_\\_\\_\\_\\_\\_\\_\\_\\/_________________________ooo_____o_o




      \\\\\\------\
     \\\\\\\\-----/
    \\\\\\\\\\\
   \\\\\\\\\\\\\\__o
    \\\\\\\\\\\  o/
     \\\\\\\\\\\-/
Hows about this for a hedgehog, it is the quantum mutated battlefield 
hedgehog, evolved to survive on todays modern battlefield.

This hedgehog appears to have regressed to the fifties.

--
     //////\     -------->jimmy@juggler.demon.co.uk<-----------
    \\\\\\\__o  Bringing tedhogs to the common folk since 1994.
____\\\\\\\/___________________________________________________
			> unholy trumpets <

And this one is aiming to be the first to die of lung cancer.

      \\\\\ 
     \\\\\\\___o
  ___\\\\\\\__/-'____
  
I don't know why I had an urge to insert an '_' and a '/'. Someone had to do 
it I s'pose. I plead diminished responsibility m'lud. E'was arsking for it.

Mike.

For the hedgehog who has everything...

David Z.

 \\\\\           / Bringing laptop computers and
\\\\\\\__o      /  internet access to the common
\\\\\\\'/ =====/   hedgehog since 1995. 

..and one seen on rec.arts.bodyart (the mind is boggling).

>_____________________________________________________________________________
>
>                                Algernon Faust
>     \\\\\                 Algernon's Piercing Pagoda
>    \\\\\\\__.                algernon@netcom.com
>____\\\\\\\'/________________________________________________________________

2. Rare breeds

The Mexican hairless:

-- 
    ,,,,,       Don't forget to shave your hedgehog
   ,,,,,,,__o   before buggering it!
___,,,,,,,'/_________________________________________
              CyberCat <m.lanting@student.utwente.nl>-- 

(Both varieties)

"You don't like Crew Cuts? OK, I'll just shave off some more then..."

    .....       Don't forget to shave your hedgehog
   .......__o   before buggering it!
___.......'/_________________________________________
              CyberCat <m.lanting@student.utwente.nl>

The Sausage hedghog:

    \\\\\\\__o                 Hedgehachsund.
____\\\\\\\'/___________________________________________________
                        <wholly horny>

The Raceing hedghog

-- 
Toby Haynes             - --- -   -----    \\\\\       Hedgehogs on Speed
Somewhere in Cambridge    -  - - --  ---- \\\\\\\__o  Bringing Hedgehogs to 
                      -  -  --- -------   \\\\\\\'/     the common folk!
For further information on this .sig, please contact AFP for enlightenment.

How about the very rare Muraroa Hedgehog?

    \\\\\       
  o_\\\\\\\__o  
___\' \\\\\\'/___

Not, of course forgetting the Death of Hedgehogs....


     \ \ \       
    \ \ \ \__o  
_ _\ \ \ \ \0/_ _

 Feel free to cabbage me if I've copied someone else's unwittingly
                                Gideon.

--                    Hedgehog?              \ |\ /| /
     \\\\\            Cabbage!!             \|\\\|///|/ 
    \\\\\\\__o        You figure it out.     \\|\|/|//
____\\\\\\\'/__                               \\\|///
Worship Yourself.  And Hedgehogs.


     o
  | /|
  |/ |
  | o|
  |\\\\
  |\\\\\ 
  |\\\\\\
  |\\\\\\   
  |\\\\\    
  |\\\\     

The extremely rare rotated hedgehog.


BTW. has anyone heard of vampire hedgehogs?
    \\\\\    
   \\\\\\\__o
___\\\\\\\'/__

/Anders/HAndy/aandy


    \\\\\       Ok then, in the name of patriotism (for all you ozzie people)
   \\\\\\\__o   this is an echidna.  It is similar to the much-loved hedgehog
___\\\\\\\/____except that...um... well if you look closely you can see 
                that it has layed some eggs and um... it is not immune to snake 
                bites.  That last is for the *really* observant. 



     \\\\\	    A spiny tenrec. Also similar to the much-loved (but
    \\\\\\\___o	    rarely buggered) hedgehog; but can be distinguished by
 ___\\\\\\\_-'____  (a) a more slender snout, and (b) being found in
                    Madagascar. Tenrecs don't lay eggs. Not sure how they
                    react to snakebite...

Bringing Spiny Tenrecs to the Common Folk, in a Special, Seasonal Offer...
Bargain basement prices [*] - and that's cutting me own throat...

[*] While stocks last.

The hoghedg (1 mad owner, goes by the name of Dali)

 \/\
\\\\\\/     Surrealism, hedgehog. Hedgehog, surrealism
\ //\\/<o     
    \

3. If Hedgehogs were computers/operating-systems...

Yer normal hedgehog:

                  
          ////    
         //////__o        
        ///////'/


Win 95 hedgehog:

          / / / / 
   
         / / / / / / __ o 
       
        / / / / / / / ' /


Mac hedgehog:

         ________        
        |        |    
        |        |o        
        |________|

Dave


The unix hedgehog:

\\\\\;\\\\\\\__o;\\\\\\\'/    (ground elements excluded)

/Anders/HAndy/aandy

For that last one think 'end-of-line-characters'...

	I think I would prefer to use mice as input periphials rather
than hedghogs, because my hand would always get impaled on the spikes.

	\\\\\           
	\\\\\\
	\\\\\0>     \=__=+>
	           .  .:  :,


	Hedgehog.  Flatmate. :)


     $$$$$      
    $$$$$$$__o  My hedgehog, he's called Bill [1]
    $$$$$$$'/

[1] Legal Notice: The above refers to bill as in dollar bill, any
similarities to a Mr Bill Gates are purely coincidental.

4. Aquatic Hedgehogs

 Or the Aquatic Hedgehog?    

         0 
    \\\\\ 0 o      
   \\\\\\\\__o  
___\\\\\\\\\P/___

Which was quickly improved upon...

Adrian.
-- 
  \_____\\\\\_______________________________________________________
   \   \\\\\\\__o                         <><
    \__\\\\\\\'/___      ><> 
                   \_______________<><___________________><>________

However, it was pointed out that Adrian was doing a great cruelty to his hedgehog and causing it to drown.

Adrian
-- 
   \_______/\/\/\____________________________________________________
    \      \\\\\\\__o       -,     <><
     \_____\\\\\\\'_}========'    ><>            
                    \_______<><___________________________________><>

Well, he's getting there... Now if he can just get the snorkel above the surface...

                                        _ _
                                       _ _ \\\\\  
                                     ~ _-_\\\\\\\__o
--                                 ~  ~ -_\\\\\\\/
   \________\\\\\______||_________________""""""""___________________
    \      \\\\\\\__o  ||    <><
     \_____\\\\\\\_}=="'               ><>            
                    \___><>___________________________________<><____

Much better - And note the exceedingly rare levitated hover-hedgehog


5. The Emmet Files

Now, most afpersons will have read postings by the one and only Emmet O'brien. We now present, for your entertainment and enlightenment, Emmet's contribution to the field of hedgehoggery...

--             ##
     \\\\\    ###        -------->eaobrien@ebi.ac.uk<-------------------------
    \\\\\\\__o_#      Bringing cannabis to the common hedgehog since 1994.
____\\\\\\\'/_________________________________________________________________

           <sacredsuspenders>

--      ///////    
     ////////      -------->eaobrien@ebi.ac.uk<-------------------------------
    ///////__o  Bringing the Leningrad Cowboys look to Jimmy's .sig since 12:2
____///////'/_________________________________________________________________

             <holyhugwar>          

--
\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\-------->eaobrien@ebi.ac.uk<-----------
\\\\\\\\\\\__o\\  The common hedgehog tends to get lost in the rain.
\\\\\\\\\\\'/\\\\________________________________________________
	               *cuddles*

--				(Emmet)
  -----/,\\\\\\\---  Warning: Turning hedgehogs upside down can be hazardous 
      o--\\\\\\\              to their health.
          \\\\\

Of course, Emmet has a little trouble when it comes to telling the difference between geography and hedgehography...

>	    _;
>	 / / /_
>	'.Y   /
>	 =  */_ Perth
>	 "/___/
	
  I thought we'd _done_ the surrealist hedgehog ?

                                         Emmet

And no commentry on Emmet-Hedgehogs would be complete without Emmets patent applied for modifications to the standard battlefield hedgehog.

You thought Abslom X Z Greyhawk <bk3hargr@swansea.ac.uk> wrote:
	
>	      \\\\\\------\
>	     \\\\\\\\-----/
>	    \\\\\\\\\\\
>	   \\\\\\\\\\\\\\__o
>	    \\\\\\\\\\\  o/
>	     \\\\\\\\\\\-/	
>Hows about this for a hedgehog, it is the quantum mutated battlefield 
>hedgehog, evolved to survive on todays modern battlefield.
	
  but if we slow the hedgehog down by a factor of 30, you see:
	
>	      \\\\\\------\`
>	     \\\\\\\\-----/
>	    \\\CUDDLE\\\
>	   \\\\\EMMET\\\\__o
>	    \\\\\\\\\\\  o/
>	     \\\\\\\\\\\-/	


   Be wary of subliminal messages in hedgehogs, people !

                                       Emmet

6. Problems of hedgehog ownership

Your hedgehog may have pets of its own...

-- 
.   .  .
 . . . .. .
 . . \\\\\ .   --------->watha@anorankh.demon.co.uk<-----------
  . \\\\\\\__o    Fleaing the country since time immemorial.        
____\\\\\\\'/__________________________________________________
                        <holyanorankhs>

Which can be got rid of by giving the hedgehog a bath.

-- 
John aka Greebo


    @@@@@       Hilda Hedgehog
   @@@@@@@__o   with her curlers in
___@@@@@@@/_________________________________________

Or they may have megalomaniacal tendencies

-- 
/////////////////////////////    This hedge is   
/////////////////////////////    MINE,ALL MINE!    /////
/////////////////////////////              \__ o__///////
__I__I__I__I__I__I__I__I__I_____________________\'///////____

And they also have an alarming tendency to grow up. You thought you had a cute little baby hedgehog and all too soon they turn into hulking great teenagers...

-- 
John aka Greebo


   \ \ \         /\/\\         \\\\\             
  \\\\\\\__o    ///\\\\__o    \\\\\\\__o     \\\\\__o 
__\\\\\\\/u___////\\\\/_____\\\\\\\;/_____\\\\\\~/__
  "Cars are    "Cat food     "Brilliant!"  "C'mon Guys!"
   complete     rights &
   bastards!"   peace!"

The Young Ones - The hedgehog years.

Obviously this one isn't a student (No student could afford that much food).

--    \\\\\
     \\\\\\\\       -------->lee@roogna.demon.co.uk<-----------
    \\\\\\\\\\    Bringing high protein diets to hedgehogs everywhere
    \\\\\\\\\\--O 
 ____\\\\\\\\\'/____________________________________________________
                             <divine deeleyboppers>

7. Showbiz hedgehogs

-- 
John aka Greebo

    *====       Harrison Hedgehog in
   **=====__o   Patriot Games
___======='/_________________________________________


The Debbee McGee Hedgehog
    _____           ___________
   |   \\|         |\\\        |
   |  \\\|         |\\\\__o    |
   |__\\\|         |\\\\'/_____|

The Paul Daniels (alledgedly) Hedgehog
   
    _\_\_
   /\  \ \__o
___\  \  \'/___

Mark Burbidge

Note for Ammericans and other aliens... Paul Daniels is a short balding british magician and Debbie McGee is his scantily clad assistant.


8. Other hedgehogs

i.e. all the stuff that was left at the end...

--  
.-------------.~^~^~^~^~^~^~^~^~^~^~^~^~^~^~^~^~^~^~^~.-------------.
|   \ \ \     |       Bringing teleportation to       |    \ \      |
|  \ \ \ \ _  |    the common hedgehog since 1995     |   \ \ \ _ o |
|___\_\_\_'___|      adrian@suitcase.demon.co.uk      |__\_\_\_\_/__|


-- 
Name :Ben Chalmers.                                   \\\> Bringing <\\
Email:ben@bench.demon.co.uk                          \\\\>  Damian  <\\\__o  
WWW  :http://uptown.turnpike.net/B/benchal/Ben.html   \\\\>  Hirst   <\\\'/
                                                     To the common Hedgehog


     ооооо      
    ооооооо__o  A Reghog [2]
    ооооооо'/

[2] I hope this works, they are supposed to be (R) symbols


-- 
Toby Haynes		       ||||||	   Hedgehog for Christmas anyone? 
Somewhere in Cambridge	      |||||||__o   
 	                      |||||||"/    


/Anders/HAndy/aandy [1]
---------------------------------------------------------------
   ______________        | Anders Henriksson
  /              \       | d95has@dtek.chalmers.se
  |              |       | Introducing the hedgehog garage in
  |              |_o     | order to keep your hedgehog warm
  |              |/      | in cold weather.[2]
----------------------------------------------------------------


-- 
Thomas 
    _______________     
   /               \     The Oxford Hedgehog Sanctuary 
  '|    .....      |'    (Affiliated to the church of Jimmy Brokaw)
   |   .......__o  |
   + __.......'/___+     Protecting hedgehogs from common folk since 1995


--
Gareth@thedrum.demon.co.uk    ^o-o^     \\\\\\
    ***Cyberkoala***          ( O )   o__\\\\\\
Making peace between hegehogs          \ '\\\\\\
  And Koalas everywhere.       


Well thats all folks, please mail me any interesting hedgehog sigs that I've missed.

This file will soon also be available from the pratchett archives at ftp://ftp.lspace.org/pub/pratchett/words/misc/

-- 
Robert R. Collier | The Terry Pratchett Homepage |   \\\\\    send subject
rob@lspace.org    |    http://www.lspace.org/    |  \\\\\\\__o | "get pgp"
InterNIC RRC7     |          <holyhorns>         |__\\\\\\\'/__|  for keys
---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Epilogue 13/08/97 by Leo Breebaart: Eventually, the hedgehog signature fad died out, Jimmy Brokaw left a.f.p, and there were no ASCII hedgehog sightings on the newsgroup at all for more then a year.

Until, that is, Gideon Hallet suddenly started using the following sig:

     ((((  | Gideon_Hallett@3Com.com.========================|
  o__))))) | - Bringing permed '70s-retro hedgehogs to the  =|
__ \'((((( | common people since he got bored one afternoon.=|

If any more original hedgehogs appear, I will add them to this file. But Gideon's example notwithstanding I still fear that the a.f.p. ASCII hedgehog is an endangered species. ---------------------------------------------------------------------------

LB: 29/01/98

Endangered perhaps, but not extinct yet! It appears that hedgehogs can also survive *outside* the a.f.p. environment, as witnessed by this signature from a group called oxbridge.tat:

Jonathan David Amery, Trinity Hall, CAMBRIDGE, CB2 1TJ.             #####
http://www.trinhall.cam.ac.uk/~jda23/home.html                  o__#######
Nondeterminism means never having to say you are wrong.          \'#######
Knowledge=Power=Energy=Matter=Mass=>Books=Small Black Holes. - T.Pratchett
---------------------------------------------------------------------------

LB: 05/02/98

And another one, on a.f.p, even:

Remington Stone   Join us in spreading the word of Jimmy!
A.T.A.F.O.T.      Mail newbie@Lspace.Org for newbie info.
     \\\\\\\__o   ENTP, Purity=32.2, Aquarius
_____\\\%\\\'/___________________________________________


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